Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to wake up, every day in the morning. I wish I could sleep forever. I wish I could continue living in my dreams: without the glaring brightness of reality.

I'm enjoying being at home these days. Not that it's a very happy experience, but for the simple matter that I like to be home alone and just basically laze around.

I hardly got any txts from anyone today. Not even from people who proclaim to love me. hahaha... funny shit. Guess everybody is just too fucking busy right. Work work work. That's the way the world turns. Too bad these people are too immature to realise that they would not like it if somebody gave them the same kinda treatment. They expect all the love and attention... but they don't know how to give it. What can I possibly say... 'screw that shit!'.

I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of loving. I'm tired of getting angry, of getting my feelings hurt. I'm just soooo bloody fucking tired of everything in my bloody fucking life...! Just very tired. Sigh... I wish God would listen to my prayers, and take the pain away by letting me die or something. Sighh. So tired. Soo fed-up. I'm tired of pretending, of putting a smile on my face for everyone to see... when i'm dying inside. and nobody really knows or really gives a shit anyways.
:'(

If anybody asked me, when i was a kid, what my biggest wish was, i would have said without hesitation "to die". That wish is still the same. Some wishes in life don't change.

Please give me something to numb the pain. Anything.