I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder... What is Love...? Don't you wish you had a gadget or something from which we could measure if someone loves us truely..? What a laugh life is... what a joke!

I hate my weekends sometimes... I used to love weekends. They used to be so happening. Weekends used to make me happy. Now it just makes me sad.

Last night Coo chose to stay at a stupid beech party than come be with me... irrespecive of where I was going... Does it really matter...? I mean he should want to be with me. He should, for once, do something for me that would make me happy.
And he dissapointed me so much last night. So dissapointed with the way he went about things. I felt so alone. So fucking alone. I didn't have any choice but to stay with Amy and them... If not i would have just come home. I stayed there, with them, cos I wanted to see him, be with him. But i guess i just wasted my time. Cos he was busy, and then he says that he fell asleeep, and that my cell was off... I mean what the fuck??

I missed him so  much. Oh i wish i didn't love him the way i do. My life would be so much more easier. But I do. and that love doesn't seem to get any less. :(

He's Always on my mind... I can't stop thinking about him. Or wanting him, or loving him. I mean, I try to look at other guys and think, 'I should give him a try', or 'isn't he cute...' but then i am reminded of Coo and I think, 'can he dance like Coo?' 'Coo has nicer eyes...' or something like that... and that's it. I am not in the least bit attracted to anyone else. Noone else can make me feel the way i feel for Coo.

Where is this love going to take us. We fight and argue.. and make up.. and break up... so bloody often... yet we keep going back to each other. What kind of love is this? What is this passion we share that drives us crazy? And causes so much trouble at the same time..? What is this bond we seem to have, which we can't seem to break...?

I don't understand his life. I don't understand how he can continue to be with her, continue to go about his life, the mundane things... with her. Even though they don't live together. Isn't he living the ultimate Lie..? I don't know the whole story so I guess i don't have the right to judge. Maybe he loves his wife still, maybe she still loves him too... I wish i knew.. i wish i could analise things... make them fit in to perfect squares.

And amidst it all... I still Love him. :(