2011

So 2010 is over. 2011 begins... I want to feel happy and expectant... but all i feel is sad and gloomy. It wsa a lonely Christmas... and it's gonna be a lonely 31st night. I can't be with the one i want to be with when the clok strikes 12. so that just feels like a great way to start the new year. (sarky laugh)

I'm so lonely broken angel, im so lonely listen to my heart....

Sometimes...

Fuck Love, Sometimes I get tired of trying...

Arash ft. Helena - Broken Angel هلنا آرش

So wierd...

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me men... Im in like such a lousy mood these days. Im feeling so down and depressed. I love christmas, but this christmas sucks! What christmas with all the crap going on at home... Didn't even put up the tree this time. I didn't even bother to buy anyone presents. One reason being im too broke to do so.. and the other is that... whats the point...?

I just feel like crying men.. I wanna have a good cry. I just feel so tired sometimes. Like what's the point of everything... It's a sure lonely depressing christmas this year. sigh... Maybe i'll be like Mr Bean and buy myself a gift and wrap it up.. and write myself some xmas cards and slip it under my door... lol... yeah.. that sounds like a sad plan.

whatever... It's just christmas. It's Christmas dammit!

What the bloody fuck!!!

Argh!!!

I wish i didn't feel anything when he said that he was going xmas shoppin with wife and baby... wish my heart wasn't so sensitive to things like that. There are moments.. when things just hurt. And even though i know that there's nothing to do about it... i cannot stop the pain from hitting me full force.

I hardly texted him today. What to say ne..? Can i ask...' so hows the shopping going? what did you buy your wife?' Yeah right. Sigh.... I accept that she exists.. but still things hurt me.. that's a fact.

Damn but i miss him. But im not gonna text him or call him. If he wants to contact me then let him. Dum-di-dum di dum...!

Fuck love... sometimes i get tired of trying.

Lonesome

Hmmmm... Im feeling a bit lonely today. :( life. Anyways, im at my mom s place babysittin my sis for a few days... :/ and im missin my nice cool bed at batta. Sigh....

Coobaby s been busy all day shifting house... So i've hardly heard a peap outta him all day. Anyways... Me spent my whole day jst lazin in bed... And i can't underdtand how it is i can still bee so sleepy..
Hmmmm miss him. Gosh i realy wish i had a nice long vacation to look forward to. Which i dont sadly. Sighhhhh.....

Tired

Soooooooooooo tired. Work work and more work. I need another vacation. And I need it fast.

To make things even better... my immediate familly is having a war with my mom and step dad. I mean.... do they even know what all these fights and arguments are about..?? Sometimes adults are sooo crazy. They fight and argue about the dumbest things.

Wish things can go back to being they way they were with my familly. Im fed up of all this arguments. Thank God i don't live at home anymore. God sure is great and merciful.

Me miss my Coobaby. He's still at work. :(