Loving youi is Heaven, missing you is Hell

I love you.
I miss you.
I need you, more than you know.
:(

Pending Talks...

Yeah... So we are supposed to have this ''Talk''. Hmmmm... and it's supposed to be before sunday. But boy, if he doesn't start talking by sunday... well... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad...
And I don't even mean that in a funny way.

All i can say to myself is, he's a idiot!! He's still growing up. Dammit I feel ancient sometimes compared to him. He has sooo much to experience and understand, human psychology-wise. Sighhh.. what to do. I also go and fall for this idiot nah. I'm also another faaaaking idiot.
Bunch of idiots we all are.

Can someone please knock some sense into him...? Please...?

workaholics!!!

OMG...!!! I hate people who are married to their fucking jobs...!!! Don't they realise that people are more important than their fucking job? What the hell man... arrrgggghhhh!!!!
Im sooo fucking pissed and annoyed and bored out of my mind right now. It's depressing!
Why can't I find myself a decent guy who actually treats me right, who actually has TIME to SPEND with ME...?? ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I just feel like hitting somebody!!!! But there isn't anyone around to hit. I feel like screaming my head off, but i can't cos the landlord might freak out!!!
Remind me again, WHAT THE FUCK am i doing with him....? I mean i could pick any guy to fuck around with, so what am i doing with HIM...??? Why am i being sooooo bloody faithful to him, when the bloody fool doesnt even have time to spare for me...?!!!??!! Nooooo.... He doesnt even have time to reply to a fucking sms. I mean i know he's bogged down with work... but come on!!! How long would it take him to take his phone out and type 'Did u get home babe? sorry im bathing wit wrk, dont be mad, love you'????
Bloody fool!! Idiot!! Arrrgggggggghhhhhh!!

Im a bigger idiot for sticking with him...!! Will somebody just shoot me...? now? please...?!!!!

The bloody fucker doesn't even give a fuck!

Peace reigns at home

Well, atleast one part of my life is peaceful at least, for now. Home life, mom, bro etc... are relatively back to normal. Doesn't mean i'm going to be running back home anytime soon. Hell no! I love my freedom and independence way o much for that. :)

But well, I'm happy to know that things have sorted themselves out between me and my mom.

He won't let me walk away...

How can I go when he askes me to stay?
How can I turn my back on someone when he asks for my understanding?
How can I ignore a friend when he says he has problems...?
How can I?

My Ocean

I think about my life, and i realise, how much i've learned. I've learned from all the relationships i've been in. soo many things.
And i'm still learning. Thru all the hurt and pain... i do believe i'm actuall y getting older and wiser. Funny as that may sound.

I've learned how to handle certain people, how to make relationships work, how to test relationships... soo many things.

But most of all... I've learned how to love. Well i'm still learning. There are so many variations of love. All i'm so luck y to have been loved and to have loved in the strongest possible way.

In this life we live... we place so much weightage on money. But in reality, what we really need in out lives is genuin real unwavering love. And do we get it? very rarely.

Sometimes I feel as if people are growing so cold. So fake. so unreal. Why are we like this. We lose ourselves in this jungle of life and money. Trying to make ourselves happy by hanging on to all the material things. Money, prestige, being married to a rich person even though you may not really love him/her, Since when did we start putting up with less than what we deserve...?

Im not goin to be that person anymore, who settles for less. No. I need, I deserve much much more than this. Much more love, much more care and attention, I need to be the top of his priorities.

It doesnt matter that my love is turning me in to the walking dead. A living zombie. They say time heals all wounds. I know that in time, i will heal somewhat. But oh until such time... how life is goin to hurt.

My Coo

If you know he's not a part of your life,
Could it be that he was never meant to be?
If you can't breathe when you're not with him,
Could it be that his kiss could make you feel alive?
And yet, He cannot see what's right in front of his eyes...
My Love.
Lips that belong to him.
Eyes that see only him.
Hands that want to hold only him,
And a fire that burns only for him.
I could say- Love me. Pick me. Choose me...
But i can't.
How i wish i had that right, But i don't...
I don't.
My Coo, I can't be with you.
I can't imagine my life without you.
And then I miss you......