10 years

Wow.

Has it been 10 years since I first posted on this platform?

Sadly, I seem to only hit the keyboard when my mood it getting me down. Bummer.

In reality though, apart from the many sad times, I have also had some amazing times as well. Moments of travel, laughter and happiness.

However, today as you can tell, I'm not feeling my best. The last few days have been a bummer. Either angry or sad. And then there's the mental fatigue of trying to be 'normal' so that the people around me don't get uncomfortable by seeing my moodiness. 

It sucks to have to hide one's emotions. But that is life. I'd say no one can handle the shit I feel on a daily basis. No one I know anyways.... so why bother trying to make anyone understand or seeking anyones help. 

Shoutout to all the extroverts out there living their best life - oblivious to the shit going on in us introverts heads.

I'd like to thinkI have my head together most times. but yeah, that's always not the case.

Anyways, 10 years. Still a loner, still trying, still wishing i was dead. Still doing nothing. Still living for everyone else. Still pushing on.

10 years.

Feels like a lifetime in my head.