Saturday, May 5, 2018

Trust

Many times in my previous posts have i mentioned the importance of 'trust'. How i wish they never broke it.

But you know what, he did beak that trust. And when i think about it now, in hindsight, it changed EVERYTHING. From me being the naive doting woman to me being the calculating manipulative, idgaf person i am today.

But I am tired. I am tired of trying to think one, two, three steps ahead. I am tired of playing mind games, guessing games and any other games i think are being dished out. 

I just wish people could be REAL. You know the straightforward, say-what-you-mean, do-what-you-say type of REAL.

Instead, all anyone does is break promises, use words like 'love' and 'sorry' like it's cheap change not worth a penny. One step forward and ten steps back...

And I'm tired.
Tired of the pretending.

I was born to be free. The wild thing doing what she pleased. 

But sometimes I lose sight of that girl - that girl who used to be me. The free spirit. 

She seems lost, as  usual; And a little fed-up. 
A little fed up of dreams that somewhere along the line have been forgotten.

Trust. 

A dangerous word. It can make or break a person. 

It broke me. And  I made remade my broken pieces to reflect the harshness of the world. 
Isn't that what we all do?

Random musings

People may think moving to another land, one where there is no one you know- is all fun and games.
But it is not. It's lonely and.. well, it's lonely.

Life is not as you expect it to be.

Not that it's bad. I  mean, life is good. It's interesting enough. But I miss my clique of friends. I'm an introverted person, but occasionally i like to let lose, and now i don't have my homies to let lose with.

I don't know... just sometimes i feel dissatisfied and almost wish I was elsewhere. Almost. Very rarely. But then i remind myself how blessed i am. And try not to be a bloody bitch about little things in life.

Today, i'm feeling a little down.
Maybe because it's 'Friday'. Maybe because it's Friday and I'm feeling a little lonely.

Well, one can't have everything in life can they....