I am so confused these days. It's unbelievable that we have been fighting for 2 months. Absurd really. Totally ridiculous! I don't know what to do with him. He refuses to discuss things properly with me and come to a conclusion. He just expects things to.. what.. disappear? Which of course doesn't make any sense but then what does in this relationship!
I just wish he's talk to me and be clear about where we stand. I just wish he and I could set the parameters. Either we're friends and behave as such or we are lovers. If neither then we are strangers and leave each other the hell alone.
I don't understand what he gains by staying in this in-between, misty grey zone. Where it's like a constant guessing game with unreasonable fights etc. Really totally absurd!
I mean he cannot have his cake and eat it too. Let's face the facts. He's married and he will not divorce. HE flirts with this girl who recently joined his department, and then has the galls to tell me that it's just 'being friendly'. Then to top it all off he ignores me and fights with me and then cries to me saying he needs me. Then he wants me to show him how to be a better person. Does that mean he just wants me to be his friend? I don't understand where this is all leading to.
I am not an uncaring person, but right now i am just so tired by all this drama. Yes I do love him and if he needs a true friend i will be there for him. But I don't want to be used like this. I don't want to be taken for granted just cos i am a nice person and care about him.
So damn complicated!!
Sometimes communication is the best medicine.
