Sometimes I wake up and lie in bed just as dawn is breaking... I think of You. I think of my feelings for you, and I cannot believe I've been with you for so long. I can't believe life has flown past us like a Eagle soaring high and fast in the sky.
You started out as a fantasy, a conquest and now - now you are almost a part of my soul. Like the warmth in my blood that warms my heart.
I know we have tried, maybe unsuccessfully to end this story of ours. Broken our hearts a hundred times over just trying to stay apart. All for the sake of propriety and the choices we've made in the past.
Sometimes my need for your love, for your time, for your attention is like an ache deep in my heart. A physical ache, a pounding chugging heavy heartbeat that even makes it hard for me to breathe.
And I hurt. I hurt so much inside.
For every 1 hour of ultimate joy with you I pay-up with 24 hours of pain from my heart.
Yet it beats. It beats till I see you again.
Sometimes I wonder if all sense has left my mind... If all sense of whats right and wrong, black or white, true or false has faded in to a grey misty blur.
Like an obsession. An obsession with flesh and blood.
Dawn turns in to the light of day, bringing with it the realities of my life. And the fact that I begin another day - Alone.
Another day waiting, hoping and wishing with all my heart that maybe today I would spend a few precious minutes with you. Maybe today, if not today then maybe tomorrow...
What love can do to a heart is wondrous. It is amazing. It can make you feel like you're invincible. Like there's nothing on earth that could hurt you or make you sad... and then the next moment it can crush you. Drown you in sorrow so deep you can't breathe. You forget how to, you don't want to.
Love makes you feel like you've been twirling around and round like a child, and then let loose the world spins around you. Dizzy and unbalanced you will fall down. Unless you find that solid thing to hold on to. Until you feel like your world is back in focus.
Sometimes I feel like that child. Twirling in circles... maddened with love and lust and everything Him. And them I'm falling so fast and I know there's no one to catch me when I fall.
Love!
Borne like the dawn and broken by night. How I wish you lasted forever...
