Sexy Bitch: September 2011

I came across some messages on his phone. And those messages so obviously prove that she still loves him. She still loves and 'misses, the man, her husband. And wonder to myself, how could he just portray her as the 'shrew' when she actually does love him in her own way.

I asked him 'she seems to love you. Don't you love her?' And do you know what he told me? He said 'She may, But i don't.' I shouldn't say this but that was a good answer.

Unfortunately I cannot help but feel like I walked in on a marriage and helped ruin it further. That was not my intention and it probably would have worsened with or without me.
But you know, the feeling is still there sadly.

Sometimes I just want to shout at him. Scream at him. Ask him why? Why oh why can't he be with me? Why is he so afraid? But I know that there is no point in asking futile questions. What's the point right. The simple fact is even tho he says that he doesn't love her like he initially did: He still does love her. He loves her enough to still stay married to her. All I am to him is a part of his life that gives him everything that she does not.
I give him the attention she does not give him.
I give him the understanding he needs.
I provide fun moments.
He has great sex with me and is more satisfied than most guys out there.
We like similar things like genres of music etc

But none of it is Enough.

And I ask myself, why am I still here with him. I've asked that a dozen times in my blog and i've asked it from myself a million times more. And the answer is - because I love him. Because the Bible says 'Faith, Hope and Love. And the greatest of these is Love'

There are moments where he's hurt me so much. Where I've felt like I never wanted to see him or talk to him again. But those feeling of anger never last long no matter how much I seem to get hurt.
The love does not seem to lessen with time or with pain.

Sexy Bitch

Monday, September 26, 2011

She still loves him

Friday, September 23, 2011

Argh