I get the message...

As obvious as life could be, I do get the message.
You will never be there for me the way i want you to be.
You will never be a permanent part of my life.
Yes I get it.
Thank you for reminding me of that and everything else that is wrong with my life.
Thank you for the pain and reminders that never cease.
Thank you for the useless existence I now call a life.
Thank you for nothing.
Because that what 'this' is to you.

Everything...

Every cuddle
Every touch
Every loving moment
Feels like so much.
Your scent, that lingers on my skin,
An arm splayed across my tummy
as you pull me against your body.
Every whisper,
Every tear.
Every loving word you've said
I hear.
At times unspoken it may be.
Every second
Every minute
Always treasured.
End in kisses - good bye whispers
Silent memoirs it becomes.

I wonder....

Right now i'm seated on my bed wondering what the fuck i'm doing with my life.... I honestly don't know. You said you missed being with me. You did? Really? I must have misunderstood cos you didn't seem to show it. Or did i miss something?

Can i go into that I don't care place, where i really don't care.

I don't know. I just feel so... 'dissapointed' right now. A little neglected and taken for granted.

Are all men selfish? I mean is there a giving man out there?? I'm starting to think not. Or maybe i just havn't met such a person as yet.