Secrets

Somethings I can't even talk about anymore.
Interesting huh...
You can't expect to play with fire and not get burned... so they say.

Shards of Broken

Can you see Her?
Over there.
Seated on the floor, red stains on her dress.
Do you see Her?
Fist clenched around fragments of her being.
Now I see Her.
Trying to pick up what is Broken.
Somebody help Her.
Won't somebody tell Her?
Shattered hearts like broken glass;
You'll cut yourself,
Trying,
To pick it up.

Be That Way

Be that way
You way- So wrong.
Lost.
I can't be bothered.
Let me know if you're leaving for good this time.
You seem to have forgotten who walked away the last time.
Be what I need or stop wasting my time.
Be that way.
My way.
Or let me move the hell on.

If You Forget Me - Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Goodbye

How many goodbyes does it take to make a 'goodbye' real? 5? 10? 14?
I don't know. I've said goodbye to you so many times its now like a redundant joke that only I still find funny.
Really.
Let's all put our hands up and give me a high-five in the face.
Thanks.

So yes. Another goodbye and another sad day. Don't I get fed up of this charade? I mean seriously?

What is it that is so good in my life that I keep going back to the sad, emotionally wrought, festering hole I call a relationship...? With someone who isn't even mine to begin with?
Oh yes... maybe it's the sex? Or is it the comfort found in his familiar face? or the warmth of those familiar arms? Is it the sweet, very rare things he does?

Honestly I don't know. How could I? I've been running around in circles for 3 damn years now. Heading nowhere but to hell in the process.

Love is all well and fine for those who are lucky in love. For the rest of us there's always that sad Goodbye.
It doesn't matter which road you meet him on... in the end.. all that's left is that sad Goodbye...

Fine

I'm tired.
Just tired.
But I'll smile, and say I'm fine.
Cos that's what the world wants to hear.

I'm sad.
Just sad.
But I'll smile, and say I'm fine.
Cos tears are all invisible to me.

Losing Myself

I have so many things in my mind, yet I can't articulate. 

Too many thoughts running around in my head, yet I can't put them down

It's like there are people yelling constantly in my mind.

Non stop.

Unrelenting.

Where is the quiet?

I feel distressed, depressed, lost.

I feel like I'm losing something precious,

Yet I don't know what it is.

I want peace

I want quiet

I want to sit and stare in to nature

I want to lose myself for a moment in tranquility.

What is it I truly want?

What is it that I truly need?

I do not know.

This is the pit I am in.

I can say 'pick me, choose me, love me'

But what I really mean to say is 'Save me'.