I have no reason to live without you Coobear.
Take my money. Take my furniture, take away everything. I dont want them. I can't live like this. I can't. I can't!!
Im trying but i can't!!! Cos everything, every moment, every thought, every memory hurts and hurts and hurts!!! I never knew how something could hurt soo much..
What happened to me? Where did I lose my will..? Why did i lose my heart?
I just want it all to end. Please God make it end. Please... I don't care anymore. I dont care!!!
I don't want my life!! I have no use for it. I don't need it! Nobody else needs it or would miss it either. So take it away...!! I dont want it!
Coo's gone!!!! He's not comming back this time and it's all my fucking fault!
Im so tired. So tired. God please make it end.. please...
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Temporary bye to FB
Too many Q's in my mind... So i deactivated the FB account. It's temporary... I don't need these things on my mind. I really don't wanna know, i don't wanna care... and i really really don't need the drama.
Friday Nov. 5th 2010.
Im really tired. Really really really tired.
Friday Nov. 5th 2010.
Im really tired. Really really really tired.
And it hurts...
Today, Nov 3rd, has been the worst day ever. I can't believe Coo hasnt responded to my FB msgs. In fact, he hasnt contacted me the whole day. Not one single txt. Not one single call. Nothing. It's like he died. And I died with him.
I cant bear this.
I cant bear this.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Deuces... Altered...
All that bullshit's for the birds
You aint nothin but a vulture
Always hopin for the worst
Waiting for me to fuck up
You’ll regret the day when I find another guy, yeah
Who knows just what I need, he'll knows just what I mean
When I tell him keep it drama free
Ohohohohohohohoh…
I told you that im leaving
I know you mad but so what?
I wish you best of luck
And now im finna throw them deuces up
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
Uh, Use to be valentines
Together all the time
Thought it was true love, but you know men lie
Its like I sent my love with a text two times
Call cause I care but I aint gettin no reply
Tryna see eye to eye but its like we both blind
Fuck it lets hit the club, i rarely sip but pour me some
Cause when its all said and done,
I aint gon be the one that he can always run to
I hate liars, fuck love Im tired of tryin
My heart big but it beat quiet
I don’t never feel like we vibin
Cause every time we alone its a awkward silence
So leave your keys on the kitchen counter
And gimme back that ruby ring with the big diamond
Shit is over, whatchu trippin for?
I don’t wanna have to let you go
But baby I think its better if I let you know
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
Look, my shorty always on some bullshit like Chicago
So I flip that middle finger and the index finger follow
Deuces, we aint got no future in tomorrow
I’m a chick, so it shouldn’t be that hard to swallow
The other guy Im with never complain
He make wanna leave the one im with Usher Raymond
Probably didn’t register, don’t trip, later on it will
Shorty full of drama like gangsta grizzles
I finally noticed it, it finally hit me
Like Tina did Ike in the limo, it finally hit me
I got a new guy, and he aint you
He paula patton thick he give me déjà vu
And all that attitude, I don’t care bout it
But all that shit I do for him, you gon hear bout it
Breezy rep two up, two down
But im just puttin two up, chuckin up the deuce now
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
You aint nothin but a vulture
Always hopin for the worst
Waiting for me to fuck up
You’ll regret the day when I find another guy, yeah
Who knows just what I need, he'll knows just what I mean
When I tell him keep it drama free
Ohohohohohohohoh…
I told you that im leaving
I know you mad but so what?
I wish you best of luck
And now im finna throw them deuces up
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
Uh, Use to be valentines
Together all the time
Thought it was true love, but you know men lie
Its like I sent my love with a text two times
Call cause I care but I aint gettin no reply
Tryna see eye to eye but its like we both blind
Fuck it lets hit the club, i rarely sip but pour me some
Cause when its all said and done,
I aint gon be the one that he can always run to
I hate liars, fuck love Im tired of tryin
My heart big but it beat quiet
I don’t never feel like we vibin
Cause every time we alone its a awkward silence
So leave your keys on the kitchen counter
And gimme back that ruby ring with the big diamond
Shit is over, whatchu trippin for?
I don’t wanna have to let you go
But baby I think its better if I let you know
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
Look, my shorty always on some bullshit like Chicago
So I flip that middle finger and the index finger follow
Deuces, we aint got no future in tomorrow
I’m a chick, so it shouldn’t be that hard to swallow
The other guy Im with never complain
He make wanna leave the one im with Usher Raymond
Probably didn’t register, don’t trip, later on it will
Shorty full of drama like gangsta grizzles
I finally noticed it, it finally hit me
Like Tina did Ike in the limo, it finally hit me
I got a new guy, and he aint you
He paula patton thick he give me déjà vu
And all that attitude, I don’t care bout it
But all that shit I do for him, you gon hear bout it
Breezy rep two up, two down
But im just puttin two up, chuckin up the deuce now
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to him
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to him
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to wake up, every day in the morning. I wish I could sleep forever. I wish I could continue living in my dreams: without the glaring brightness of reality.
I'm enjoying being at home these days. Not that it's a very happy experience, but for the simple matter that I like to be home alone and just basically laze around.
I hardly got any txts from anyone today. Not even from people who proclaim to love me. hahaha... funny shit. Guess everybody is just too fucking busy right. Work work work. That's the way the world turns. Too bad these people are too immature to realise that they would not like it if somebody gave them the same kinda treatment. They expect all the love and attention... but they don't know how to give it. What can I possibly say... 'screw that shit!'.
I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of loving. I'm tired of getting angry, of getting my feelings hurt. I'm just soooo bloody fucking tired of everything in my bloody fucking life...! Just very tired. Sigh... I wish God would listen to my prayers, and take the pain away by letting me die or something. Sighh. So tired. Soo fed-up. I'm tired of pretending, of putting a smile on my face for everyone to see... when i'm dying inside. and nobody really knows or really gives a shit anyways.
:'(
If anybody asked me, when i was a kid, what my biggest wish was, i would have said without hesitation "to die". That wish is still the same. Some wishes in life don't change.
Please give me something to numb the pain. Anything.
I'm enjoying being at home these days. Not that it's a very happy experience, but for the simple matter that I like to be home alone and just basically laze around.
I hardly got any txts from anyone today. Not even from people who proclaim to love me. hahaha... funny shit. Guess everybody is just too fucking busy right. Work work work. That's the way the world turns. Too bad these people are too immature to realise that they would not like it if somebody gave them the same kinda treatment. They expect all the love and attention... but they don't know how to give it. What can I possibly say... 'screw that shit!'.
I'm tired of caring. I'm tired of loving. I'm tired of getting angry, of getting my feelings hurt. I'm just soooo bloody fucking tired of everything in my bloody fucking life...! Just very tired. Sigh... I wish God would listen to my prayers, and take the pain away by letting me die or something. Sighh. So tired. Soo fed-up. I'm tired of pretending, of putting a smile on my face for everyone to see... when i'm dying inside. and nobody really knows or really gives a shit anyways.
:'(
If anybody asked me, when i was a kid, what my biggest wish was, i would have said without hesitation "to die". That wish is still the same. Some wishes in life don't change.
Please give me something to numb the pain. Anything.
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